God’s calling on our Life

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. Ephesians 1:4.
God calls us by name. The scripture in John 10:27 says that we as sheep recognise the voice of Jesus and we follow Him. After our salvation, I believe God’s call on our lives is the next most important thing. I love that scripture in Romans 11:29, ‘For God’s gift and his call are irrevocable’.

Whatever God called you to do maybe right back there in your childhood, He has not changed His mind about it. As i child, i always daydreamed of speaking to people as they listened attentively to me. This made me enjoy English lessons in class. And i read story books alot, including mills and boon. When I was about eleven, i overheard my older brother brag to his friends that, his little sister, Adah would grow up to be a lawyer. A brilliant lawyer that would turn heads as she entered the courtroom. Having had no compliments growing up, this really excited me. It was like a confirmation that some day, i will be in position of getting attention from people.
For a few months to come, whenever i was alone, i would walk up and down in the living room, on my toes pretending to have high shoes on. I would be dressed in an immaculate skirt suit in my mind. I soon forgot about it.

Dance is my passion, on the other hand. Since childhood, dance is what i enjoy regardless of the audiance, if i like the music playing, i will dance to it. As a child, about the same age, i fantasised having a tall Husband, taller than i would be, dancing with me, my head on his chest. This fantasy got strong when at twelve, my teacher wed a man who was shorter than she was. As they danced, it looked a little awkward to me. My resolve got so strong, i would marry a taller man. But then i grew to be 5.9 quite tall for most men.
I never got to meet a taller man, and so when i met my Husband, after two failures, i was astonished! He is 6.3. As we got to know each other, he told me that God gave him a vision of his wife being applauded by a congregation she was speaking to. I thought to myself, right now, you have the wrong woman. I was unemployed then and all i hoped to do was business to catch up with my “lateness” in making it. With my lack of self esteem, coupled with my belief of being exceedingly ugly with a horrible voice, this could never be me in a million years.

Surprise surprise! Fast forward this year 4th of June, as the ladies in attendance to a womens meeting in The House of Grace Church Nairobi West applauded me, i recalled his testimony over four years earlier. I am no lawyer, but the service God has called me to do, speaking to women also requires me to be smartly dressed and this takes me back to the days of practising as a child. This is an extremely mind boggling whole new experiance to me. But, the scripture tells me, its no surprise to Him. He never changed His mind about what He created me for, or whom He created me to be a wife to despite my messing around and getting distracted from His purpose for me.

Not that i have obtained all of this, or have already been made perfect. But i press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 3:12-14

Father God, may you strengthen my resolve to stay focused on the goal ahead according to your purpose for my life to the glory of your name!


Words of our Mouth

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Even before i walked out of my second abusive relationship, i often told God to keep men away from me for i had no desire to enter another relationship, ever. Less than a year after i left, my Children started plotting to get me a “hubby”. The older ones told me i needed to get married, if for nothing else, to ensure that i did not take my ex back, and for companionship. I brushed them off, not understanding the importance of companionship since despite having been in two relationships, i had not experienced it and so it didnt matter to me, as long as i have my Children, i thought.
My older son then suggested that he wished to adopt the younger Children. I said i could not allow it, because i would be lonely. He quickly told me that i was destined to loneliness, sooner than i thought. Because all these Children will eventually grow up and become independent. I visualised that scenario and saw the sense immediately.

I have heard many single or widowed women proclaim that they don’t need a man in their life. But, i think some of them feel quite lonely on their own. For even in the Bible, a woman was only acceptable as a widow at sixty.
Living God’s way means having balance in our lives.
When the Lord made us, He created us all with many in built desires. For example: the longing for fulfilling relationships, the desire to express ourselves, the compelling urge to grow, develop, mature, and indeed to live a full and fulfilling life. All these things and more have been put into our hearts by the Lord Himself.

Many single Christian moms, especially older ones believe that the spiritual thing to do is to ignore these God given desires and to devote oneself to ‘more spiritual’ things. We think that if we speak of our desire to be in a relationship, that we may perhaps be conceived as immoral, weak or dependent on a man.

The ironic thing is that this sort of ‘super-spiritual’ approach can easily lead to feelings of self-pity, self-righteousness and a desire for false comfort, possibly leading us into sin. Pretending not to be in need of a relationship does not make you any more righteous,for God Himself is the author of marriage. He created us with the desires. And all relationships are different, i.e to your Children, spouse or friends. We need them all for balance in life.

Something from the inside will be crying out for these needs to be met, one way or another. We should always remember that, life and death are in the power of our tongue. Do not be ashamed to speak out the desire of your heart. But careless words such as, am not interested in men, am self sufficient, i don’t even have time to date, i don’t need anything from a man, am working on my career hence no need for a man etc. worse, others will tell me, please find me a rich man, however old. Even if he dies on our honeymoon! Are you sure thats all you want in life? Money.and aren’t you forgetting that God is hearing you? The old rich man is also Gods creation, the one you want just for his money. This attitude will work against us when we finally think its time.

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2
In this case we need to repent.

God, i repent for all the words i have uttered foolishly before you. Thank you for your grace in my life. Teach me to think before i speak, for i choose life and not death, always!

Following Jesus

As children, we sang a song that went like this. I have decided to follow Jesus x2 I have decided to follow Jesus x3 No turning back, no turning back. What Jesus tells you, you must follow x3 No turning back no turning back!
We would sing it excitedly. But we did not really understand how powerful those words are.

In Mark 10: 17-31, Jesus explained how important following Him is. And He gave a promise, that no one following Him will fail to get eternal life.
All my life i was a people pleaser until recently. It was real hard for me to say no to anyone who asked for a favour in whatever form. This often made me miserable, because most times however much i went out of my way, sometime i failed to fulfill my word. This obviously hurt those involved. This could have been something as small as calling someone back when i promised or lending someone money. Or just giving my time.

At the beginning of this year, i asked God to help me focus on Him. If you try to make everyone happy and comfortable, you can never achieve it. Because people are different and each one has their issues and each ones opinion is different. One will be happy with you today when you have satisfied their needs. Tomorrow it will be a different story. You can never get approval from everyone, everytime. Not even your family members.
God is just God. If you focus on pleasing God, following His guidance, you will be peaceful, joyful and glad. There will be people who will judge you, despise you, like or hate you. But ultimately, you are pleasing God and you are peaceful and thats all that matters!

Everyone else is entitled to their opinion, and thats all it is, their opinion. And i dont mean to be disrespectful, because, as long as you are kind and loving to people, Godly love, its only fair that each one of us depends on God and not others. When we adhere to this, we will not find fault in others for letting us down. Because we will not be relying on them. A simple example is borrowing little money. We have mshwari where you can borrow instantly on your phone. Instead of troubling others, you borrow from such institutions, its convinient, friendly and instant!
Am i now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am i trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10. Note that he says if he were still trying. Meaning he also struggled to please men before.

Father God, i pray that i remain meek and look unto You to guide my path and order my steps each day. To the glory of your holy name!

Just be yourself

Before i formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; i appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

For nearly four years now, i have kept my hair short and natural. I always grew my hair long, and am blessed with real long hair. I sometime permed it. Generally, i neglected my hair, i can say i didnt really give it much attention. Half the time i would have it braided. Most times it looked so unkept i wore a headscarf on my head.

When i met my Husband, i tried my best to ensure my hair was neat. I would always ask him what he thought of a particular hairdo i had on. He always said i looked good. But, i wanted to know his favourite so i would maintain it. So one time i asked him for his favourite, he told me he knows i will not like it, so no need to tell. I insisted and so we bet on it. If i embraced his favourite style, he would pay me and i would keep it. It was a deal. He said he loved short hair.

I did not have a problem with that, he was impressed. We kept our deal.
When i had it cut, i was amazed at how much age it got off my face. My children too loved it, except two.
The women in my life were greatly disappointed. How could i cut my hair when i was so blessed to have long and dark hair? I felt free. Short hair is so easy to maintain. The sad thing is that, whenever i go to a salon for a manicure or something else, the ladies there never stop trying to coerce me into applying a chemical, blow out or something. According to them, short natural hair is not fashion, its not appealing, its primitive. Its not only salonists who feel this way. Whenever i meet a new acquaintance, they always offer me free beauty advise, why dont you treat your hair to a blow out or curly kit. It simply never occurs to any of these ladies that i actually love my hair just as it is. At first i did it for my Husband, but now, i cannot wait to trim it every two weeks since my hair grows real fast.

And this i noted is the reality in life. Majority of us live according to peoples expectations of us. We dress according to the in fashion. We buy expensive weaves just because others have them, even if we have to borrow them just so we keep up with the crowd. Why should we settle for less? God knew us even before He formed us in the womb. Our differences is what makes the world a beautiful place. God did not create us to be copies of each other. Instead He created us, each one uniquely and beautifully. Thats how we end up in trouble, struggling to be like someone else when ideally, you are the best you, and you dont need any effort to be you!find out what suits you and what you are comfortable with. And go out there and serve the Lord confidently in the area He appointed you to serve, however low or high your position. Its the same level in His eyes.

Let us focus on God. Carry yourself the way God wants you to. Seek His righteousness, and everything else will fall in place enabling you to live a fulfilled and happy life.

Father God, help me to be content with myself for you created me fearfully and wonderfully in your own image.

Seasons of our Life

There is a time for everything, a time to be born and a time die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter atones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

A man of God mentioned Ecclesiastes this morning and it jolted me into my season right now. Most part of my life, i was busy raising the Children. I cannot remember having anytime to think about myself. I do not even remember knowing myself. My mind was always preoccupied by issues pertaining to my Children.
Recently, our youngest Dove joined high school earlier in the year, and Denzel left soon later. Suddenly i found myself workless. Initially i thought being alone will be nice and peaceful. No teens around turning the house upside down. But alas! Only two days of being home alone and i actually broke down in lonely tears. It was hard to adjust.

But, God created us with the clear knowledge that there is a season for everything. Right now, its my season to rest. Am determined to rest at Jesus feet in this season, as Mary did Luke 10:39. I do not wish to go around the same mountain more than necessary as i always did when i didnt have the revelation that there is a season for everything. And that Gods will for us is to allow Him to order each and every single step in our life. When we let Him and obey Him, we will not waste time in one season. If only we trust Him, entirely!

Some days am idle, but most days i get busy. Am happy, because its much easier when i let Him order my steps. My simple prayer each morning is, God, please make me do what You need me to do today. I have found a peace that surpasses understanding through this.

What season are you in right now? Whichever season it is, its just that, a season. And if you will allow God to direct your path, you will be peaceful as you move through it. Life is a journey. It can be an enjoyable journey when you choose to lean on God! After all, He is the author and finisher of your life. Whatever else you do on your on is insignificant and just a waste of time. Just wait on Him!

May God enable me appreciate all seasons of my life, however painful. For, Just to be is a blessing, just to live is holy!

The thorns in our flesh

When i was a little girl, about eight i think. I was weeding my kale garden when a stick pierced me through my ankle just beside the ankle bone.
The pain was unbearable! As i pulled it out, part of it broke and remained in my flesh. It was a little thicker than a matchstick, and half the size of a regular matchstick.
For days, i went about my life with so much pain. Yet i could not ask mom or my older brother to get it out. This was due to my fear of the pain i would experiance.

I would limp when no one was watching. And endure the pain by stepping down normaly in the presence of my family. Before long my foot got so swollen.
Nearly a week later, my brother caught me limping as i returned from the river with a twenty litre water container on my head. I could not avoid it because the pain would be excessive.
He lifted the container off my head and held my hand. He asked me why i ws limping as his eyes settled on my real swollen right foot. I had no choice but to confess the truth. He called out a neighbours name, still holding on to me.
He asked me to sit on the ground and asked the young man neighbour to hold me. He warned me against moving my foot. Just touching the area ws painful enough. I closed my eyes and tilted my head backwards. He felt the stick, and the pus that had since formed around it. As he pressed from either side, i think i passed out. The pain was beyond description. But the stick came out, accompanied by pus. And my foot healed soon later.
This was the only medicine for it. Getting the stick out, and i knew it, yet still i resisted it for so long. The result, worse pain.
A similar scene played out with our youngest daughter when she was about four. She had a thorn in her foot, i noticed her limp instantly. I begged her, coaxed her and even threatened her to allow me get it out. But she wouldnt budge. Finally, Dennis decided to use force. Hold her firm as i removed it. She overheard us and took off in high speed! Down the stairs from fifth floor. The entire family followed. It was such drama! A little girl with a thorn in her foot was outrunning us bare feet on hot tarmac!

Dennis then shouted to her, Dove, here, put on your sandals then continue running. She stopped. And i got the thorn out.
These scenarios replay over and over in our life. For some people even daily. You know what you need to get out of your life to make it healthier, happier or peceful, but you postpone it over and over again. It does not make it less painful, but still, we refuse to act on time. For years i have complained bout my flabby arms. I bought dumbells years ago. But until now, i havent disciplined myself to a workout Schedule that will get them in shape. Yet, its obvious that unless i undergo the routine exercise, they will never be how i want them to be. Same thing with abusive relationships, indulgence in abusive substances, overweight issues.. Jealousies, envy, anger, hate, moodiness,alcohol, greed, friends who pull you down…the list is endless!

What is it in your life that is hurting you? Something You need to get rid of? Will you ask God to give you the will to do it?

May God fill me with the spirit of discernment to know what is ailing me and enable me to rid it from my life!

Be Happy!

Am a natural talkative person. I get excited real easy. I do not know how to pretend. When am upset, i will just let it out. When am hungry, i will just enjoy my meal wherever i am or with whomever i am with.
When i see something i like, i will appreciate it. And this includes stopping a stranger in town to compliment them.

I greet the cashier in the supermarket and the guard at the door. I must admit i have met quite a number of people who have looked at me like, are you ok? But, more, i have complimented people who were totally shocked at my compliment, meaning despite their beautiful hands or whatever it is, noone has complimented them and worse, they may not have been aware of this beauty in them.

In Church, i say hallo to my neighbour, and surprise surprise, some will look at you with a face that will tell you that you are a nuisance.
I have learnt something in life. Whatever you may be going through, can never get easy depending on your mood. If anything, the more miserable you get, the worse things get. You will even knock your toes on furniture as you walk in the house, or bite your tongue as you eat. Making you angrier!
Your miserable day can never get shorter.

Challenges are a way of life. The sooner we know that God cannot allow you to go through what you cannot handle, the sooner we can allow Him to lead us through our every little and big issue. For to God, nothing is little or big. His purpose for us is to find Him. This leads to a happy and content life! Being joyful is a choice you have to make daily. Being miserable too is a choice. Its up to us, and we all know what misery and anger causes in our life. Ulcers, pressure, broken relationships and many other health issues. And i believe God does not appreciate our negativities. For the Bible clearly tells us to rejoice in the Lord always, and again rejoice in Him! And in all circumstances, give Him thanks!

There is really no reason for us to be miserable, for He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us. Jeremiah 29:11
We should not waste even one single day in our life being miserable or angry. A day is too long! But then again too short!

May God enable me to be happy every single day of my life, for i can do anything through Christ who is my strength!