Flee the evil desires of youth, and persue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lords servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 2 Timothy 2:22-24
As i sit in my living room, staring at my display cabinet, the interesting arrangement of glasses inside, arranged by my joy, Dove. I cannot help but smile and thank God this far He has brought me!
You see, all my life i have been a perfectionist in the arrangement of my house. I love anything house and enjoy rearranging frequently. I would never allow a child to place anything as they like, including their bedrooms.
I would fluff cushions when my Children left the sofa to use the washroom, and arrange it neatly. Any mess in the house would bring out the worst of me.
I was so obsessed with neatness and order. I preferred to wash the utensils always so i could arrange them in a particular order on the drier. I used so much energy trying to prove to my abuser whenever he was sober that, the insults he directed at me were wrong. To set the record straight. The only thing i achieved was a more intense abusive session after the next drinking spree.
Its been a long journey, since my salvation seven years ago, with the help of the holy spirit to realize that i dont have to be right, or my way of doing things isnt necessarily the right way. Neither must i have the last word in anything. I no longer get upset easily, because i purpose daily to keep my calm and peace regardless of the situations i face any one given day. I have also learnt to be patient. I try as much as possible to have a smile on. I simply dwell on the blessings He has bestowed on my family. I find it easier to find humor in every situation other than anger.
I ask for forgiveness faster than i used to, even from my Children. No wonder am happy and at peace with Doves arrangement of the display cabinet, that is how she likes it. And am thankful for her assistance. A few years ago this would have sent me into a frenzy to do it my way! And through this, am learning to appreciate each of my Children’s way of doing things much more.
For the longest time, it was my way or the highway. I truly respect the diversity in their traits now. After all, my way was the best by my standard. I had to clear my name, when i was right it had to be acknowledged by those involved.
But now, thanks to my spiritual journey, am at peace even when i have to apologize when am actually owed an apology instead.
But am so thankful and content!
Thank you God for this far You have brought me! Am well prepared for the continuation of the long journey ahead.